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Has anyone ever told you “you talk too much” or they just happened to share with you that someone else nearby talks too much while looking deeply in your eyes. How did it make you feel? Let’s just say I have been hearing this in some form over the course of my life usually by people who I somehow unwittingly seem to intimidate with my “talk too much”. This in turn usually leads me to a whole lot of self-judgement and self-doubt – but not anymore lovely ladies. Well at least not for too long anymore…
It’s no secret right now I am going through some transition as I build my coaching business but also work a full time role during the day. So what happened when this was shared with me last night? Initially I felt disrespected (diplomatic feeling) and as if a message was going out for me to shut the f+%k up as my opinion was not wanted or asked for. I was indignant. I was defensive. You know, sometimes I definitely feel as extroverts we do have a tendency to take space or fill space with chatter (you can read all about that if you sign up below) BUT I also know that I now refuse to be judged by anyone for my personality that makes me the very fabulous person that I am.
Anyway this aside, it got me thinking about judgement, fear and doubts and how it all fits in and it reminded me of who I am. I teach women how to stand in their power and release their self-judgement. I coach women to stop being the victim in their lives and to authentically say YES this is who I am. So why did this little statement put me in a spin. It put me in a spin as I believe I let myself forget who it is I am, have been spending too much time with my friend ego.
One of my favourite authors and people who walked this earth is/was the great Dr Wayne Dyer. I read a book of his called “Your Sacred Self” which you can find here if you are interested. In the book and through a lot of his teachings he talks a lot about spirituality and also the ego. Dr Dyer actually says “If you are living with inner turmoil, continually quarreling with yourself and feeling anxious and fearful, then you are allowing ego to dominate your life.”
I self-checked. Since returning to work have I been living in inner turmoil – tick, battling with myself – tick, feeling anxious and fearful about my day but also what others think of me – big tickety tick. So now what? What does a loud and proud life coach do who forgot for a second just how fabulous she is and allowed ego to move back in.
Kick ego out of residence.
Be kind. Let the kind person choose your words not the fearing ego ridden one. Choose kindness over confrontation.
Reflection and Meditation. Stop the inner chatter, choose a moment each day to switch off, dial out of the chatter.
This is definitely a work in progress – and think about this if you are having a discussion/argument with your husband/friend/mother/sister. If you have the choice to be kind or right – what choice do you make?
Remember you are not perfect and through all life, you will continue to learn and develop if that is your choice. I like many others embrace the fact and realise that although I live with all of these things above and try to live the best version of myself there will still definitely be occasions where I will get railroaded, annoyed or just have an overwhelming desire to slap some sense in to someone and that’s OK.