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Comparison…for some girls it’s almost an inbred coping mechanism that has been used since they were little. And do you want to know what – comparing yourself/ comparison whichever way you want to say it could be the very thing that is stopping you from soaring.
I have this client, let’s just call her *Jo… Jo has these brilliant ideas and dreams for her life. You see she knows she wants to help people and knows she has a real talent for getting the best out of the people she works with. Jo however has stinking low confidence and belief in herself outside of the bravado she puts out to the real world.
Jo compares herself to other business owners and peers that are out there confidently pushing her dream and wanna know what happens to Jo… she goes into a holding pattern of procrastination and doesn’t sing her own song because she starts telling herself she is not good enough.
Jo… Jo’s bravado strong woman persona knows that she has something to give and share but why does she keep letting herself get caught up in bringing herself down by comparing her stuff with others? I know the guru’s in the field will tell you that market research is valuable but do you want to know what is even more valuable? Owning your work, putting it out there consistently and being proud of what you are doing in the world.
I think we can all see what will happen to Jo if she stays in this holding pattern of comparison and self doubt – her business goes nowhere AND she robs the world and all of the potential people she can help of her special sauce…its not fair!
So if this is you and you know comparison is your jam – how do you stop comparing yourself to others you might want to know?
Comparison is a little like caring too much about what others think or letting your ego write cheques your body just can’t keep!
I get it for people who suffer from anxiety or have raised stress levels that this sort of stuff doesn’t come naturally to you. I just finished reading this book and it talks about how many f%&ks you have to give in your life. What if you actually used up all of your’s on useless shit like this and then when it came down to the time where something serious was going on in your world – family, relationships or other you had used them all on making yourself feel like shit! Wouldn’t that just blow!
So my hot tips on removing comparison from your life/business
- Listen to it – and what I mean by this is listen for when it comes – if there is someone or something that you give permission to make you feel inferior – hear it and move on. Keeping things/people in your life that at this point in time you feel the need to compare yourself too just isn’t healthy – so get rid of it.
- Facebook – take the time and actually tell Facebook you don’t like the ads that come up – start controlling your feed and what you see. If Facebook is a real trigger for you and you do get caught up in procrastination land – it might be time to download the chrome extension and block your Facebook feed which you can find here (ps: this isn’t permanent and you can restore) – I actually do this quite a bit throughout the year for different reasons and can honestly say – it’s refreshing!
- Make a plan – sometimes I think in business women get caught up in comparison and looking at other people’s businesses because they don’t have a solid plan for their own. They haven’t yet decided on what it is they want to offer or they haven’t decided on who or how strong their own voice is. So DECIDE. Decide what offers you want to put out to the world and decide that you are going to go forth and get shit done no matter what.
- Gratitude – so this one…she’s a mindset change. The reason I add this one in here is because if we start to change our mindset and how we think and feel about the world then the rest just might follow – it can’t hurt to try something positive can it?
- Lucky last and my favourite one of all – Get a Coach! A coach who can work with you on making all of the above come in to action AND more. There are times in your life where sometimes you need that little bit of extra support and having your own personal cheerleader is a benefit that will pay off in so many ways. I offer a free discovery call to all new clients so you can find out more about how coaching works – if you are ready for it book in HERE