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How to find balance when everyone around you thinks you are superwoman

How to find balance when everyone around you thinks you are superwoman

I started a new job.  You know that job you take that you think isn’t going to be too stressful and life is going to be a bucket of amazing – a little like rainbows and lollipops.  and then.  It hit me like a 747 – I got stressed, I started dropping healthy habits in favour of really unhealthy ones and I forgot about that need for balance.

I am the type of person (which I also know so many of you reading this are too) who likes to get things right, I like organised workplaces, I like to excel – perfectionist maybe.  I tend to say yes to additional projects because my inner superwoman “I can do it” combined with my desire to please and attention somehow always seems to turn me in to something of a workaholic if I am nor careful. I wake while it’s still dark, shower, sometimes manage to slosh half a cup of tea down my gob – sometimes not before I would rush out to work.  I “needed” to get in to work early because I “needed” that uninterrupted time to actually feel control and organised.  Each day I did this I would say to myself – today I will leave early.  Wouldn’t you know it superwoman had to save the drama of the day and before I knew it I was coming home in the clove of darkness again.  All good intentions gone out the door in favour of braindead television viewing and a glass of wine.

Something had to give – and not just the waistline of my pants that were not coping entirely well with this new regime of stress/home and away/wine repeat.  Usually when something gives and we work ourselves to the core like this and add all the additional pressures on ourselves it gives in a really large way.  It doesn’t have to be like that though – with some really simple self-checks and time management we can reverse the ticking time bomb of your stress and find balance.

How do we self-check…Let’s ask a few simple questions.

  • How many hours do you spend in the office on average in a day?
  • Have you moved your body this week? (note: moving to the fridge does not count)
  • Have you picked up some habits that you are not proud of and are quietly berating yourself that you “shouldn’t do”?
  • When did you last have fun?
  • Does under your eyes resemble the luggage compartment of a domestic airline carrier?
  • Do you find yourself getting emotional more than normal and can’t blame it on PMS?

How did you go?

Did answering these questions bring up something for you?  Could you be in dire need for balance too?  We need balance in our lives because for one, if we continue on the path above we are of no service to anyone and we are also generally pretty not fun to be around.   When I found myself in this zone I sat down to figure out what it was I actually wanted and what did I value.  Did I think it would be cool to have on my gravestone that I died from stress while trying to improve my workplace – Hell NO!

Does this sound like you?  Let’s look at some 5 things you can implement right now to regain balance and happiness:

  1. Get up 10mins earlier to begin what could be a morning ritual.  I use this time to meditate and practice on my gratitude’s and forgiveness and then move on to journaling.  You do not have to meditate for hours to get something out of it.  The simple practice of mindfulness will help you set the intention of the day.
  2. Say NO – you do not have to take on everything
  3. You have to move your body and you have to do it regularly.  Again, it doesn’t have to be an hour long sweat session, a simple walk around the block at the end of the day if that’s all you can do will also be value to you.
  4. Pick one day a week where you do not work early and do not work late and STICK to it.
  5. Evening rituals – get rid of the phones/iPad and computers at least an hour before bed.  Give yourself a nice cleanse/moisturise/light a candle. Prepare yourself for a good night sleep.  Reflect on the day.

BONUS TIPS

I know it was supposed to only be 5 but 3 more tips that are too good to miss

  1. Know what it is you value – think about creating a manifesto  – you can download mine here for inspiration.  Ask yourself what do you believe, what do you want and what do you value.
  2. Be honest.  Really REALLY be honest.  Do you need help getting balance or can you do it alone?  There is no harm in asking for help.  The only harm is hurting yourself by not doing anything and continuing down the stress road of hell.
  3. Love your people and tell them regularly.  Connecting with loved ones and telling them how much they mean to you brings so much goodness and happy juju out not only for them but also for you too!

For the record what worked for me was all of the above and taking a good cup release the ego and perfection that was beginning to take over.

Does this sound like you?  Does everyone in your life think you are superwoman except you? I would love to hear in the comments below what you do to bring back your calm.

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